Romance Repulsed

Romance repulsed means that a person experiences romance as unpleasant, repelling, distressing, or something they reject. Related terms include “romance averse” and “apothiromantic,” although they are not always used in exactly the same way across communities: “romance repulsed” usually emphasizes a stronger feeling of aversion or repulsion, while “romance averse” may also describe a more general avoidance or rejection of romantic situations.

The aversion may concern romance in general or only certain romantic acts, roles, or representations, such as romantic gestures, love confessions, pet names, dates, romantic touch, romantic media content, or the idea of being romantically desired oneself. It may be mild, situational, or very strong, and it can change over time. Being romance repulsed does not automatically mean being emotionally cold or not wanting closeness, love, sexuality, friendship, or committed relationships.

The term comes mainly from the aromantic community and is used especially often by people on the aromantic spectrum, but it is not limited to them. Respectful interaction means taking the person’s boundaries seriously: romantic actions, labels, or expectations should not be imposed. At the same time, being romance repulsed is not a diagnosis and does not need to be “overcome” unless the person themselves is distressed by it or wants support.

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