Relationship Anarchy

Relationship anarchy describes a way of loving and forming relationships in which interpersonal relationships are shaped as little as possible by predefined social norms, hierarchies, or fixed categories. Instead of automatically distinguishing between “friendship,” “romantic relationship,” “partnership,” or “family,” each relationship is negotiated individually according to the needs, wishes, boundaries, and possibilities of the people involved.

The term does not mean that relationships are arbitrary, noncommittal, or without responsibility. On the contrary, relationship anarchy usually requires a great deal of communication, self-reflection, honesty, and mutual consent. Agreements can be very committed, but they do not have to match a socially expected relationship model.

Relationship anarchy can be connected with monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, queerplatonic relationships, or other relationship forms, but it is not identical with any of them. The central idea is that closeness, commitment, sexuality, romance, cohabitation, or care do not automatically have to belong together, but can be shaped consciously and consensually.