Heterosexism

Heterosexism refers to social attitudes, structures and practices in which heterosexuality is treated as self-evident, normal, more natural or superior to other sexual orientations. As a result, lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, queer and other non-heterosexual ways of life may be devalued, made invisible or treated as something that requires explanation.

Unlike open hatred or direct hostility, heterosexism often appears in subtle forms. Examples include automatically assuming that everyone is heterosexual, asking about a “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” only in an opposite-gender sense, portraying queer relationships as exceptions, or expecting non-heterosexual people to justify or constantly explain their orientation. Heterosexism can also operate through language, media, law, medicine, family, education and the workplace.

Heterosexism is part of heteronormativity, a broader system that positions heterosexuality, and often binary gender roles, as the social norm. In sexuality, dating and BDSM, heterosexism can lead people to infer desires, roles or relationship forms too quickly from presumed heterosexuality. Respectful encounters require not assuming sexual orientation, respecting self-descriptions and discussing desire, boundaries and relationship models individually and consensually.